Freedom? Changes? I don’t really know what to call this.

(crossposted from my diary)

I came here to write about freedom but then started thinking of how we as people evolve into different people at different stages of life. I’ve changed so, so much in what seems like a short period of time and I can’t imagine being some of what I was before. I know I’m the same girl, the same person, but I also know I am so very different in so many ways it’s hard to see myself as the same.

Part of this huge change, and the one that had me hurrying here to write about freedom, is finding a new way of life.

I’ve spent about 90% of my life dieting in one form or another. Whether it was just trying to restrict food or following, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Paleo, whatever – I was dieting. I’d been convinced by the diet industry that I should somehow manage to exist on 1200 calories a day in order to get my “perfect bikini body” or “movie star body” or whatever the current buzz phrase was.

Well, I’m not doing it anymore.

In the midst of my Paleo madness, I stumbled upon a blog called “Go Kaleo.” I quickly fell in love with her wit, insight, and her hate for diet gurus. Oh, also her foul language. Any woman who can lift more than your average man and swears like a sailor is usually pretty awesome. She created a group on Facebook called “Eating the Food” which is dedicated to eating enough food to support a healthy weight. It also encourages exercise and it’s an amazing supportive community.

Through Go Kaleo and the ETF group, I went from eating 1400 calories a day to closer to 2k calories a day and I’m not as restrictive. I avoid gluten still (because I have horrid reactions) but I have added back rice, oatmeal, and dairy. I no longer feel guilty about having ice cream or a handful of chocolate chips. I eat what I want, when I want. And, surprisingly, with this freedom, I haven’t binged all to hell on a bunch of crappy foods.

I crave fruits and veggies and lean protein. Sometimes I crave sweet things and I eat them and I don’t obsess. It’s just part of my life and I move on. Infinitely better than beating myself up over eating a freaking cupcake or some chocolate.

The best part is that I feel great. I can lift more, I can concentrate, and holy hell has my sex drive gone through the roof.

Have I lost weight? No. Have I lost body fat? Hell yes – a lot. I’m building tons of muscle. Booyah!

I guess the bottom line is I feel like a fucking human being again.

I’m setting PR’s left and right with lifting and running and I feel great. No more hangry, no more low-carb flu, just eating what I need when I need it and moving my body. It’s so. damn. LIBERATING!

My favorite part is that my husband is totally on board. My new goal is to do an unassisted pull up so we’re currently working on changing our guest bedroom into a guest bedroom/home gym. We went out to dinner (steak! baked potatoes! salad with creamy dressing!) and made plans for how we want to change things. Then we came home and fucked like bunnies. Twice. And then again the following morning. This after suffering with low-drive issues for the better part of a year. I just needed to eat the fucking food!

In conclusion, it’s not a miracle, it’s not a diet – it’s your life. Eat the damn food!!

Note: I’m not condemning Paleo or any other diet, I’m just saying do what works for you, man!

Injured… AGAIN.

I am so very frustrated right now. I am injured AGAIN and now I’m on a mandated rest period (at least one week) and treatment with medication and heat. I know that sounds really ungrateful because I should be glad that my injury is not that serious and I can get better. But the reason I am frustrated is that it seems like I keep getting injured and as soon as I get on a roll with things and get better, it happens again.

ARGH! Hopefully this will be better soon but who knows 😦

Jillian Michaels Body Revolution – Week 5

So today I realized I wrote this recap post on Sunday but only saved it as a draft and never officially posted it. Oops, my bad 😦 I need to get better at this blogging thing.

Anyway…

Week 5 of JMBR has wrapped and I am freaking sore. This week I entered Phase 2 and while I was excited, I was also scared… For good reason. The exercises are more intense and there are now supersets.

Yes, so Jillian has you work a muscle(s) until you think you are going to die and then you turn around and do another exercise that works the same muscle(s). O-M-G. At one point, I was in a static sumo squat and I thought I was going to die. Ow.

I (again) had difficulty getting in my workout on Wednesday so I combined and did FIRE 55 EZ for cardio on Saturday because that just made my life easier. That means I haven’t tried Cardio 2 yet but hopefully I will next week. Otherwise, I don’t have much else to say right now. I’ll be back soon!

Jillian Michaels Body Revolution – Week 4

Well, week 4 ended up a complete bust. It started out semi-okay but on Wednedsay, I woke up with a sharp pain in my shoulder that went up into my neck. I could barely turn my head and even with Aleve, the pain didn’t really stop. I wanted to push through but with that kind of pain, I had to check myself before I wrecked myself.

I spent the rest of the week resting and applying heat and dosing myself with ibuprofen and Aleve. I went to the doctor to make sure it wasn’t a serious injury. I spent about 4 hours waiting to be seen, and $50 (my copay) to be told it was a mild pull/strain and to “rest and apply heat.” -_- So that’s what I did all week. Boring Week 4 update, I know. But now I am in the middle of Week 5 (Phase 2!) which is kicking my butt but I’m enjoying it.

Otherwise, things are boring around here. I’m thinking of starting the 21 Day Sugar Detox on Monday but haven’t decided for sure yet. I need to go grocery shopping and plan some meals for the upcoming week so maybe if I can work it into that, I’ll do it. I dunno. For sure tomorrow I will be making PaleoPot’s Hungry Man Casserole because it sounds delicious and I need something I can freeze for those “oh crap, what do I eat” moments (because I seem to have a lot of them lately.

I think that’s it for now – I’ll update on Sunday with my Week 5 recap of JMBR and what I decided about the 21DSD.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Paleo Potsticker Burgers with Spicy Asian Slaw

Let me break it down for you, I LOVE me some potstickers. They are super tasty, compact bombs of flavor with a tasty dipping sauce and I live to eat them. When I first went gluten free, my mom was on the search for a gluten free potsticker wrapper so she could make some gluten free potstickers for me. We never found one (though to be fair, we stopped looking because I stopped when G.F. eating wasn’t helping). Now that I’m Paleo, the same problem applies – I cannot eat potstickers (while compliant) because of the dough.

This is a PROBLEM! I constantly crave potstickers and while I found a GREAT substitute for fried rice, it doesn’t quite meet my Chinese food needs. Without a good potsticker, I just feel.. lacking.

Then, as I was searching for Paleo recipes the other day, I came across this recipe for Paleo potsticker burgers with spicy Asian slaw as a side. It became my mission to try this recipe to see if it would quench my thirst for potstickers!

Paleo Potsticker Burgers:

Ingredients:

• 1 pound of ground turkey
• 1 egg
• 3-4 tablespoons Coconut Aminos
• 2 green onions, sliced
• 1 1/2 cups coleslaw mix
• 2 tablespoons minced or micro-planed ginger
• 1 clove garlic, minced

Directions:

1. Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty! The mixture may be a little “wet” when you get done – that’s okay, mine was and it cooked up just fine!
2. Preheat a skillet to medium heat and grease with your preferred fat. I used coconut oil because that’s what I prefer but you can use another fat if you like.
3. Cook burgers about 5-6 minutes per side.
4. Remove from skillet and top with Spicy Asian Slaw.
5. Eat.

Spicy Asian Slaw:

Ingredients:

• 4 tablespoons Coconut Aminos
• 3 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1/2 tablespoon sesame oil
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (I used a squirt of Sriracha instead)
• 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/8 teaspoon ginger powder
• 2 green onions sliced
• Remainder of coleslaw mix from package.

Instructions:

1. Mix all ingredients except coleslaw mix. (I wisked everything in the bottom of a big bowl)
2. Toss coleslaw mix in the dressing mixture.
3. Let marinate in the fridge until burgers are done (if you do this prior to making the burgers)

The Verdict:

So how was it? It was okay. It wasn’t as banging as my Paleo fried rice was for sure, but it wasn’t terrible. I think my problem was that while there was potsticker flavor, it was missing something though I’m having a hard time putting my finger on what exactly was missing. I think next time, I will try adding some Red Boat fish sauce to the burgers for more flavor. I’m also having my flavor analyst (my husband) taste later to let me know what he thinks could be added to make them better.

The slaw was good but I think it could have used a little honey or other sugar to balance out the acid in the vinegar. Still, pretty tasty if you ask me 🙂

As always, if I try new recipes or alter existing ones, I will update and post here. I hope everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to a good week!

As always, keep up the good work!

 

Sleepless in New Orleans

Everyone is individual so people have different needs. Some people need more attention than others, some need more carbs, I need more sleep than most people. I’ve known this for years – in high school, I considered myself a marathon sleeper and easily slept until 1 or 2pm on the weekends.

As I got older, things didn’t really change much. I still needed a lot of sleep, I just had more to do and less time to get it done so I ended up sleep deprived a lot of the time. Work, school, work, stress… All of it added up to little sleep and, eventually, BIG binges. When I was in college pulling all-nighters to write research papers, I was also eating TONS of calories and not the good kind either! Large pizzas, Cokes, ice cream, cookies, mostly junky carbs. I was not sleeping and I was not nourishing my body either. Bad combination.

Anyway, what I’m getting at with all of this is that if I had my way, I’d get about 9 hours of sleep a night because between 8 and 9 is where I feel my best. Because of the way my life is, I get closer to 7 hours of sleep a night which is definitely doable and I can make it work. However, there are some nights where things just don’t go your way and Monday night was like that for me.

I went to bed around 12:30 which is late for me (I usually try to get in bed by 11 or 11:30). I went to sleep fairly quickly, however, around 4am I woke up because I had to go to the bathroom. Afterward, I got back in bed and tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn’t do it. After almost an hour of tossing and turning, I just got up and started working on some things I needed to take care of. This sounds like a bad idea but usually it works for me. On days when I can’t seem to fall back asleep, if I get up and do something for 30-45 minutes, I get sleepy again and I can go back to sleep. Unfortunately, I never got to that “sleepy” point.

Around 8, I started getting ready for work, aware that I was going to be very drained by the time I reached the end of my 6pm appointment. I ate breakfast as normal – 2 Paleo egg muffins and some coffee, and then headed out to work. And that was the end of my Paleo compliant day.

I’m not going to get into all the gory details but all told yesterday I ate in excess of 2600 calories. That’s about 1000 calories more than my daily goal. And it included grains, candy, soda, etc. etc. It was NOT good.

When I realized how out of control it was, I was very upset and ashamed. I didn’t want to log my calories on My Fitness Pal because I didn’t want my friends to know what I’d done. But hiding it wasn’t going to make it go away. After some consideration, I decided just to go for it and put everything out there. My friends were wonderfully supportive and all gave me plenty of encouragement to get back on track with things. I just had to get over the mental hump and stop beating myself up about it.

I also need to do something about my sleep hygiene.

Sleep hygiene is basically all the things we do to control our sleeping environments and what has to do with our sleep. As a counselor, I talk a lot with parents about sleep hygiene with their kids, particularly how important it is to get into a good routine with them around bedtime so they start winding down and getting used to bedtime.

You would think I would have thought to do the same for myself but no, not really.

My sleep hygiene is poor. I don’t do a good job of controlling my sleeping environment and I also don’t do a very good job of making sure that I am ready for sleep in the evening. I am notorious for being up late on the computer or watching TV with my husband. Some of this is difficult to give up because I value the time I spend with my husband and because of our different work schedules, it is hard to find time together that is not late in the evenings. I use f.lux – a software that makes your computer display adjust to the time of day (makes it warm light instead of bright) so that it’s not as disruptive. However, I still use my computer and sometimes my phone late in the evening – sometimes right up until bedtime.

As far as sleeping environment, our bedroom has a window and light (from our neighbors spot lights) gets in so it’s not pitch black. My phone is also always on the nightstand (it’s my alarm) and my husband has a clock. Add that to the fact that the bedroom door stays open and the kitchen light shines in and you have far from a pitch black bedroom. The bedroom door stays open for 2 main reasons – my husband and I rarely go to bed at the same time (me around 11pm, him around 4am) and we have three cats that will throw hissy fits if they cannot get into the room (and yes, they can be disruptive too – that’s a whole different story!).

Ideally, I would be sleeping in almost pure darkness. One of the ways I hope to solve this is to get some blackout curtains for our window. I also want to cover all LEDs and my phone so there are no other lights on. I also am thinking it’s time to implement a “technology curfew” so I have time to wind down from using electronics before I go to sleep. As for the bedroom door and the cats, I think I will try shutting the bedroom door. My husband can always open it and the cats will, hopefully, get over it. I’m also planning to turn our thermostat down at night so I will be cooler.

I am hoping that with all of these changes, I will be able to increase the quality of my sleep. Obviously the curtains won’t happen overnight but I do have a sleep mask that I intend to use in the meantime.

Until next time, keep up the good work!

Jillian Michaels Body Revolution – Week 3

Well, Week 3 of JMBR is in the bag so it’s time for my update…

As I mentioned in my last post, I missed my Monday workout because I overslept and then was too tired by the time I got home to get it in. I just adjusted my week and started on Tuesday and planned on no rest day for Sunday. I noticed that the workouts were still difficult but much better than in week 3 when I felt I was really struggling. For some of the leg intensive exercises (especially lunges and a kneeling exercise), I had to watch it – there are a few moves that put a lot of stress on my knees. I try to do as many as I can with good form but if they are painful or I have problems with form, I usually sub out something else or just skip that part. I don’t feel particularly good about it but after 4+ knee surgeries, I know when I’ve hit my limits. Pushing it is one thing, PAIN and possible reinjury is another.

On Thursday, I had a really rough day and skipped Cardio 1. I fixed this by substituting FIRE 55 EZ from TurboFire on Sunday (so instead of 2 thirty minute cardio workouts, I did one for about an hour). It made life a lot easier… Besides, I really miss TurboFire so it was good to have that back in my life!

In the progress department, I’m STILL seeing no movement on the scale, however my stamina is much better and I’m lifting heavier and feeling more confident with the moves so I’m just taking it in stride. I figure it’s less important to see changes on the scale and more important to see changes in my body so I’m letting it go. Once I finish week 4 (phase 1) I will take measurements to see what information that gives me.

Speaking of Week 4 – it should be interesting… I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday morning so I pushed my workout back. But at my recheck, my doctor found a really painful spot on my foot that concerns him (and me!!) so he gave me a shot of cortisone. He instructed me to take it easy for the next few days (which isn’t hard to follow because my foot is really sore). So I skipped yesterday and I will be skipping today as well. That will make things more difficult when it comes to getting all the workouts in this week but I’ll try and figure out how to make that happen. If I have to sub one or double-up on a day, I’ll make it work – just as long as my foot isn’t giving me too much trouble!

As far as the calorie increase I was talking about in my last entry, I did a lot of reading on the “Eat the Food” group by Go Kaleo and messed with calorie calculators, looked at my BodyMedia reports, and finally decided to go with my average daily burn minus 500 calories. It’s also right about the same as my BMR for my goal weight so I figure that makes sense. It wasn’t a huge increase in calories but that’s okay. We’ll see if that has any impact on my weight and/or my training.

Until next time – keep up the good work!

 

Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution Week 2

I realized this afternoon that I never came back and updated with my week 2 review of Jillian Michaels Body Revolution so I’m here to remedy that problem. Then I fully plan on eating dinner and passing out because DST has really messed with my body and my brain and I’m completely exhausted!

Week 2 was the same workout schedule as week 1, I just tried to do more reps or use heavier weight or do the more advanced versions of the exercises. I was feeling pretty good about myself because I was doing well with the workouts (with the exception of Saturday). I weighed again on Friday and, like week 1, there was no movement on the scale. However, I feel a lot stronger and I’ve noticed my endurance is better so I think I must be building muscle. I usually gain a bit before I lose when I’m lifting so I’m not scared. 🙂

I took a break on Sunday (scheduled rest day), then overslept on Monday and missed my workout. It really upset me because that was the start of week 3 and a new set of strength workouts. I fully intended to come home and get my workout in but it didn’t happen because I was so out of whack from the time change. Instead, I started Week 3 yesterday (on Tuesday) and I won’t have a rest day on Sunday. Problem solved!

Anyway, yesterday I started with workout 3 for week 3 and I was thinking I should be fine. Um, no. I thought I was going to die. The stamina I thought I’d gained was totally missing and at one point, I only did 2-3 reps of some of the exercises. It was a bummer 😦 BUT it goes to show how this is a progressive program and things only get more intense. Today was a little better but still rough. I’m curious to see how I do on Friday!

Another thing I’m struggling with right now is my food intake. I use myfitnesspal to log food and to set my intake goals. Recently, a friend suggested to me that I should increase my caloric intake to my BMR minus 20%. I’m considering it but because I work a desk-type job, I’m afraid I will be taking in too many calories. I’m doing more research and looking at my average burns (from my BodyMedia unit) before I make a decision. I’ll let you guys know what I decide!

 

Paleo Fried Rice

Fridays are the beginning of my weekend so I usually spend them running errands, cleaning the house, and other things… It’s my day of the week to get things done. Today was no different – I went to supervision at 8, then when we finished, I went to the bank, and then gave my husband a ride to work. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things and then I came home and paid all the bills and got in my workout…  have to admit, I half-assed it today because I was EXTREMELY sore from yesterday. I’m not trying to make excuses here, I’m just being honest. I was seriously hurting so I took it easy on myself. Please don’t tell Jillian Michaels. I do not need that woman showing up at my house and beating my ass (especially when she’s already beating my ass 6 days a week).

Anyway, after the workout, I was feeling a little worn out and nauseous so I laid down… and promptly took a 3.5 hour nap. Oops ;/ I generally try to look at these kind of things as “my body really needed the sleep” and move forward but today I was disappointed because there were a lot of things on my “to do” list.

I tried to get some stuff done but then I was just frustrated, annoyed, and I had a headache. I decided it was time for dinner and I was craving Chinese food. Fortunately, I had all the stuff I needed to make Paleo (cauliflower) fried rice so I decided to go for it. And I was NOT disappointed! It was AMAZING and I generally don’t care for cauliflower. It was amazing and pretty easy to make.

I took inspiration from Nom Nom Paleo and Paleo Pot so I can’t take all the credit on the recipe but here are my ingredients and modifications:

Ingredients:

• 1 medium head of cauliflower
• 1 pound shrimp
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• 1 tsp ginger powder
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 cups (I just used 2 big handfuls) broccoli slaw
• 1 bunch of green onions
• 1 small yellow onion, diced.
• 2 to 4 tbsp of coconut aminos
• 2 tbsp of Red Boat fish sauce
• 1 tbsp of Sriracha (optional – especially considering Sriracha is not 100% Paleo)
• 2 to 4 tbsp of water
• 3 eggs

Directions:

1. Use a food processor to break down the cauliflower into “rice.” I used my Ninja and it worked just fine. You can also use a cheese grater if you don’t have a food processor or Ninja.
2. Get a large pot or dutch oven and put over medium heat.
3. Add your coconut oil and allow it to warm up.
4. Add your onions, garlic, and green onions. Cook until the onions start to become transparent, then add your cauliflower and broccoli slaw.
5. Add your coconut aminos, fish sauce, and ginger.
6. Make sure everything is well mixed to get everything cooked evenly – let it cook for a few minutes.
7. Add 2 to 4 tbsp of water to the pot and stir well again. Lower heat to medium low and cook for up to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until cauliflower and other veggies are soft.
8. Add shrimp and cook until pink.
9. Add Sriracha (if desired) and stir well.
10. Turn your heat up to high and let excess liquid cook off.
11. Then crack your eggs into the pot and quickly stir to scramble the egg into the “rice.”
12. Stir until the eggs are well worked in (and cooked!)
13. Serve hot!

You can garnish with extra green onions, raw veggies, or a swirl of Sriracha (if you like it hot!) I added a bit more coconut aminos to mine after it was in the bowl. The bottom line is this stuff ROCKED! I ate a whole bowl full and would have eaten another if I hadn’t been full. Delicious!

Jillian Michaels Body Revolution Week 1

Today was day 6 of my first week of Jillian Michaels Body Revolution. I know this is a bit of a change up – I’m a TurboFire addict and that’s usually my go to workout, however I got JMBR as a gift so I thought I’d check it out.

JMBR is broken down into three phases with each phase lasting 4 weeks. During each week, you will do two strength workouts twice each, and a cardio workout twice as well. This is rotated over a 6 day period so you have enough time for your muscles to recover before you are working them again. So this week, I did strength workout 1 on Monday, strength workout 2 on Tuesday, cardio on Wednesday, and then repeated the cycle again. Sundays are your rest day to allow for recovery. Week 2 will be the same schedule as this week and then on week 3, I will switch to strength workouts 3 and 4 and use the same cardio workout. Pretty simple, and it’s even packaged by phase so you don’t have to worry about shuffling through a pile of DVDs.

As far as results are concerned, it’s only been a week and I haven’t really seen any direct results (no change on the scale this week and I haven’t increased my lift or anything) but the workouts kick my butt! I love that they are only 30 minutes so it’s easy to get them in before I get ready for work. I am assuming that things will get MUCH harder as the program goes on which makes me a bit nervous. Things aren’t crazy now, but I was super sore after my first two days (and semi-sore today!)

I also have to say that I like Jillian much more in this DVD series (well, at least the first week) than I did in some of the others. I understand she’s supposed to be “America’s Toughest Trainer” but I find some of her comments off-putting and frustrating. On these DVDs she gives a little bit of tough love but seems more supportive and has some ::gasp:: nice things to say! I appreciate that a lot and I hope that trend continues;.

 

My only concern with the program right now is that I think I may get bored with doing the same cardio DVD for a whole month so I might rotate in another Jillian DVD or perhaps one of my TurboFire workouts. Either way, I’ll be back to let you know how it goes!