Freedom? Changes? I don’t really know what to call this.

(crossposted from my diary)

I came here to write about freedom but then started thinking of how we as people evolve into different people at different stages of life. I’ve changed so, so much in what seems like a short period of time and I can’t imagine being some of what I was before. I know I’m the same girl, the same person, but I also know I am so very different in so many ways it’s hard to see myself as the same.

Part of this huge change, and the one that had me hurrying here to write about freedom, is finding a new way of life.

I’ve spent about 90% of my life dieting in one form or another. Whether it was just trying to restrict food or following, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Paleo, whatever – I was dieting. I’d been convinced by the diet industry that I should somehow manage to exist on 1200 calories a day in order to get my “perfect bikini body” or “movie star body” or whatever the current buzz phrase was.

Well, I’m not doing it anymore.

In the midst of my Paleo madness, I stumbled upon a blog called “Go Kaleo.” I quickly fell in love with her wit, insight, and her hate for diet gurus. Oh, also her foul language. Any woman who can lift more than your average man and swears like a sailor is usually pretty awesome. She created a group on Facebook called “Eating the Food” which is dedicated to eating enough food to support a healthy weight. It also encourages exercise and it’s an amazing supportive community.

Through Go Kaleo and the ETF group, I went from eating 1400 calories a day to closer to 2k calories a day and I’m not as restrictive. I avoid gluten still (because I have horrid reactions) but I have added back rice, oatmeal, and dairy. I no longer feel guilty about having ice cream or a handful of chocolate chips. I eat what I want, when I want. And, surprisingly, with this freedom, I haven’t binged all to hell on a bunch of crappy foods.

I crave fruits and veggies and lean protein. Sometimes I crave sweet things and I eat them and I don’t obsess. It’s just part of my life and I move on. Infinitely better than beating myself up over eating a freaking cupcake or some chocolate.

The best part is that I feel great. I can lift more, I can concentrate, and holy hell has my sex drive gone through the roof.

Have I lost weight? No. Have I lost body fat? Hell yes – a lot. I’m building tons of muscle. Booyah!

I guess the bottom line is I feel like a fucking human being again.

I’m setting PR’s left and right with lifting and running and I feel great. No more hangry, no more low-carb flu, just eating what I need when I need it and moving my body. It’s so. damn. LIBERATING!

My favorite part is that my husband is totally on board. My new goal is to do an unassisted pull up so we’re currently working on changing our guest bedroom into a guest bedroom/home gym. We went out to dinner (steak! baked potatoes! salad with creamy dressing!) and made plans for how we want to change things. Then we came home and fucked like bunnies. Twice. And then again the following morning. This after suffering with low-drive issues for the better part of a year. I just needed to eat the fucking food!

In conclusion, it’s not a miracle, it’s not a diet – it’s your life. Eat the damn food!!

Note: I’m not condemning Paleo or any other diet, I’m just saying do what works for you, man!